Do you enjoy baffling your opposite number with facts, figures and "uncontrolled" emotional outbursts? If you plan on building up a long-term relationship with your business partner you should give up tactics like these. There are four ways of introducing a more accommodating negotiating practice as taught on a good management course as follows:

Separate person from situation

Negotiations can quickly change from discussions about technical points to conflicts between personalities. If the person responsible is annoyed by the question during negotiation then none of the logical arguments in the world will progress the situation.  If you offend someone's ego, their sense of being right or their values then their negotiating position is more likely to harden.

If you blame someone, criticise them or reject their ideas and suggestions, they will feel attacked and hit back at the same level. Throughout the full negotiation, try to consider questions in a productive way in order to maintain an affirmative relationship with the other person. Human emotions and fears may hinder the progress, if you are unable to make questions mutual or do not keep the discussions on a technical basis.  You would therefore need to change the way you negotiate. 

Negotiate about interests rather than positions

When negotiating, your partner states their position in order to satisfy their particular basic requirements. A purchaser demands a particular price because they want to maintain a profitability standard. An employee will demand a certain wage because they consider it to be a suitable value in return for their performance. As soon a you know the interests which lie behind the concrete demands, you can often find other ways of solving problems without necessarily having to give in.

The supplier could suggest the building of a joint team with the purchaser in order to improve the production of components and thereby reduce the costs as a response to a request to lower prices. In order to increase turnover for both sides the supplier could alternatively, offer a series of joint promotions to encourage sales.

The manager may not be in a position to offer more money to an employee due to budget limitations or company policy.

Alternatively they could offer more responsibility, more recognition or other benefits. These alternatives satisfy the employee's need to feel valued.

Put together a choice of options

If you succeed in making the problem at issue into a problem for both sides then you can bind your counterpart into the problem solving process. As soon as you look for different solutions with your partner, you can turn a controversial situation into a co-operative one. Instead of thinking about how much they can get out of you, your business partner will now consider which of the several options is the best. The joint search for and evaluation of solutions enables both sides to work together without either one of them feeling they have given up their previous position.

Use criteria which can be checked

A fourth way of managing to get from battle to co-operation lies in the use of objective criteria for comparison: If your business partner demands a certain price, find out how they arrived at this price, or show them by your calculations that this price makes your product impossible to sell.

If general offers are given, for example, "We will improve our performance", ask for details of the criteria by which it can be established that what you have been promised has been delivered. It is important not to generalise but to be precise. The more exact you are the more likely  the discussion process will be considered 'fair'. You can further develop your knowledge and skills of dealing with others and negotiating by attending a good negotiation or management course.

Author Richard Stone is a Director of Spearhead Training specialising in management course programmes to improve business performance. Find out more at http://www.spearhead-training.co.uk